My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she peed on how many people?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
