He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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