like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
