in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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