the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
being pregnant is like rehab
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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