In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
