i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize