i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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