I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
