yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
