i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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