yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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