i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just google imaged poop.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
