Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
