New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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