I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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