pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
