non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
