you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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