i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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