You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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