yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize