Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
