How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
