Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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