So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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