She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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