You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
