we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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