This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
