you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
