My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
wow bdsm is so cute
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