New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
