That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
