i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
