I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
