The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
