he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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