the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
