Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
