i jhust puked up my retainher.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
