let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Randomize
