Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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