Your tits are I can't wait for
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
