Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize