There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize