he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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