Where did you get a picture of my penis
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
