I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
