apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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