Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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