some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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