I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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