Pappa wants mamma naked
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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