Hey man sorry I got all grabby
too bad you live with your parents still
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
