one might say we're banned from that church
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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