left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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