he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
