think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
