Me too!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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