I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
