I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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