y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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