My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize