are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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