hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
