please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize